“The Art of Fatherhood” With a Twang: Art Eddy Interview
We are so grateful to interview Art Eddy for our show! Art is the host of one of the premiere podcasts for Dads, “The Art of Fatherhood”. Art has interviewed over 500 Dads over the years about their fatherhood journeys, and we are so honored to get him on the other side of the microphone this week.
Mentioned in the Show:
- How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
- The Art of Fatherhood
- Art’s Interview with Walker Hayes
- Gabb Wireless
Show Notes:
- 8:16: Farm Boy Update – Mick got some rain and Yellowstone the chicken has completely recovered from her brush with death.
- 9:10: HARDY Report – Dave explains how a sippy cup made “BOOTS” one of his favorite songs.
- 13:00: In the interview with Art Eddy we learn why he does what he does for the “Brotherhood of Fatherhood” and how Walker Hayes became one of his favorite guests. Art also shares what he has learned from his guests over the years and the most profound piece of parenting advice he has ever heard.
- 24:20: Dad Life Sound Check – Art joined us on this segment and talks about “A Bar Song (Tipsy)” and how Taylor Swift’s “Never Grow Up” lives rent free in his head. Mick shares how “I Am Not Okay” by Jelly Roll is actually a parenting song. Dave shares his connection to “Ghost In This House” By Alison Krauss.
Thank you for listening. You can find back episodes and our playlist on Spotify and via our webpage. Please follow us on Instagram and Facebook @countrymusicdads. Correspondence can be sent to countrymusicdads@gmail.com. Most importantly, please give us a 5-star review and share the show with all of your friends.
References:
- Intro Music: “Dark Country Rock” by Moodmode
- HARDY Report Theme Music: “Frantic” by Lemon Music Studio
- Farm Boy Update Theme Music: “The Wheels on the Bus Rockabilly Style (instrumental)” by Mike Cole
- ”I Am Not Okay” by Jelly Roll
- ”BOOTS” by HARDY
- ”Fancy Like” by Walker Hayes
- ”Chapel” by Walker Hayes
- ”Don’t Let Her” by Walker Hayes
- ”A Bar Song (Tipsy)” by Shaboozey
- ”Never Grow Up” by Taylor Swift
- ”Ghost in This House” by Alison Krauss
Transcript
I think that’s another thing, too.
Whether you’re talking to a guest, they’ve lost a kid or lost a spouse, needed to change their lifestyle, whether it was alcohol or drugs or whatever.
And it’s like, I need to be better for my family.
Yeah, you just, you feel for that.
I don’t look to be like a TMZ, like trying to get the dirt, so it’ll be click baits.
And I know you guys don’t do the same thing either, but it’s just all about if someone’s going to share this, I’m guessing half the people that are listening to it have either experienced that for themselves or have been in a family environment where that has happened and they’re like they can relate and they can maybe take some solace in the fact that like other people have gone through it.
Because I think once you feel like you’re not alone, makes things not a lot better, but it makes things a little bit better in seeing how someone else got through it.
This is Country Music Dads, the parenting podcast with a twang.
We’re bringing you a highly subjective, sometimes questionable, but always 100 percent authentic country music analysis, as only two dads in the trenches of modern parenting could do it.
My name is Dave, and I’m a country music dad.
My name is Mick, and I am also a country music dad.
And thank you for joining us.
Our guest today is Art Eddy.
Art has a passion for fatherhood that he shares with the world through his podcast and website, The Art of Fatherhood.
On his podcast, Art has interviewed more than 500 fellow dads over the years.
We’re talking A-listers here from the world of pop culture, sports, business.
Art is also a writer and the co-author of the book, The Life of Dad, Reflections on Fatherhood from Today’s Leaders, Icons and Legendary Dads.
He’s got a background in radio and journalism.
But most importantly, Art is an outstanding advocate in the fatherhood space, and we are so happy to have him on the show today.
But as we always do, Dave, what’s going on in the concrete jungle?
Well, I’ll be honest with you, things are a little off for me lately.
And-
You’re feeling okay?
I don’t know.
I think so.
So it’s not physical?
It’s not physical.
No, I’m not sick or anything.
When I’m feeling a little bit off, this is more like mentally, emotionally off.
I’m focusing on the physical stuff, so getting my sleep, I’m trying to make sure I get exercise in.
So I don’t know if it’s the fall equinox just happened.
I hear that when that happens, weird things start to go on.
Had the Harvest Moon last week, so spooky things are happening.
I don’t know if that’s like messing with my head or what.
Kim’s out of town for a few days, so being the solo parent for the bedtime routine, maybe that’s messing with my head.
Last night at dinner, I had to tell the boys, I don’t know if you guys notice, but dad’s a little grumpy, and I think it’s important to tell them that because sometimes I accuse them of being grumpy, like why are you giving me a hard time or whatever, so I want to always be honest with them and tell them what I’m a little bit off to, or at least I’m going to experiment with that because I don’t want them to think that I’m always perfect, that I don’t have times when things are a little difficult for me for whatever reason, so I at least was trying to level with them.
What I’ve learned about myself is that those phases are going to happen and I get through them and things get better, so I have faith that’s going to happen with this one too.
The more that I can acknowledge that and not dwell on a few times, I yell at them a little more than I want to.
So that’s what’s happening with me.
I’m glad you shared that for a multitude of reasons.
That would have been the perfect segue.
We’ll get to it later when our guest shows up and joins us.
That would have been the perfect segue to the song that we’re going to talk about in the Dad Life soundcheck, I Am Not Okay by Jelly Roll.
A lot of people might think that this song is, you know, maybe a little bit more on the darker side.
I’m going to focus on a specific part of the song and we’ll circle back around to it.
And you’ll see why it’s a pretty powerful parenting song.
The other couple of things that I just want to comment on, it is so great, in my opinion, that you’re being honest with your kids.
They are so perceptive that they understand and see more than what we really give them credit for.
Your oldest is six.
The fact that you’re just telling it to him straight, hey, I’m having a bad day and I’m sorry.
That shows them, one, that you value the relationship with them, but two, it also shows that you are human as well.
Yeah, and I want them to hopefully remember that when they’re having a bad day.
Exactly.
I don’t have to bury this.
I can be honest with my parents too.
I can tell them that I’m not having a great day.
Maybe they can use my example.
It’s so tempting as a dad to want to just be the same all the time, I think, and set the standard that this is how I always am, I’m consistent.
Yeah, but is it good to be consistent if the consistency is not healthy?
No.
Yeah, exactly.
So be honest.
Be honest with them.
They’ll pick up on it.
Then to piggyback off of that, this is something that I’ve said before, and I don’t know if it was in the old Dad House days, or if I’ve mentioned it on this show.
But if you really want to keep going down that path, apologize to your kids.
There’s nothing more powerful than an adult apologizing to a child because that lets the kids know that you need to apologize when things are wrong.
Rep wrong might not be the best word, but I think you understand what I’m trying to say.
It’s a classic Dale Carnegie technique.
Dale Carnegie wrote the How to Win Friends and Influence People.
I took a class back in my corporate days, and one of the tenets was to apologize early and often.
I bought that book and gave it to Luke when we moved him in a month or so ago at college.
Oh, really?
Okay.
Yeah.
That was just my last little, here you go.
I hope you read it because this could be good.
I am not and will not ask him if he has read it.
I doubt it, but it was so hard not to.
So we were down there.
I’ll just start jumping in to what’s been going on.
So it was family weekend down at college this mess weekend.
So we went down, we all loaded up and spent the weekend with Luke and we had a good time.
But as he was looking for something in his desk drawer, I saw the book there and it started to come out.
Oh, have you read?
I was pretty sure he didn’t and I didn’t say anything.
Do you know how hard that was not to say something?
Yeah.
Oh, but I did it.
Great work.
So I’m gonna break my arm, patting myself on the back for not nagging him about the book.
But the nags did come out because, oh my God, when we walked into the bathroom that he shares with four other guys, I had to clean his toilet.
I just, I had to, it was bad.
My roommate’s dad definitely cleaned our bathroom every time he came to visit.
So I did do the little nag of the, gotta do this, and then that followed up with, have you washed the sheets on your bed yet?
You can about imagine the answer there.
It’s not even midterms yet, come on.
Depth, well, yeah.
Come on, I know.
But we had a great visit on family weekend down there.
It was fun to go down, and I think the girls enjoyed seeing where he lived and everything.
Any updates on the farm?
You had to leave it behind for the weekend, so is everything okay?
I think I should go away more often because we got some rain.
When we were gone, we got about an inch and a half of rain, and last episode, I was just lamenting the fact of how dry it was.
We got a little bit of a relief, so that’s good.
That’s the farm update.
We got some rain, pure and simple.
Then the other farm update is going back two episodes ago.
Yellowstone is, she’s doing great.
No more issues from her near-death experience.
Today’s farm boy update is just straight up updates.
For those that are not aware, Yellowstone is a chicken.
Well, glad to hear on all fronts, and things seem to be going well.
I hope you keep the momentum going.
We could still use some more rain.
I’ll say that.
Speaking of momentum, it seems like when Hardy gets rolling, he just keeps rolling, especially this year.
He’s had getting together a hell of a year.
What’s he rolling into now?
Yeah, he continues to blow up.
For those that are new to the show, I identify as the West Coast’s premier Hardy apologist, and it is my mission to give you way more information about Hardy than you ever needed.
And you’re totally right, Mick.
He is a massive star these days, which I don’t necessarily know if I saw coming.
Do you like that?
Here’s the reason I’m gonna ask.
He’s so big now, and oftentimes, whether they be artists in music or artists in writing or stage, once they get to a certain size, you just gotta keep feeding the beast, feeding the beast.
On TV, they call it the jump and the shark, because you get away from what made you great.
Have you started to see that with him yet?
Yeah, a little bit.
You do kind of lament, since I was, I feel like I was there at the beginning.
I missed the days when he was more under the radar.
So he gets a lot more criticism also being a big star and making a lot of money and everything.
And a lot of it, rightfully so, he’s not going to write a hit every single time, and it is, he’s in the machine, and making his label a lot of money too.
So yeah, I kind of missed those early days.
The song I want to talk about is from his first album, his first studio album called A Rock.
The song is called Boots.
Couple of episodes ago, I talked about my favorite Hardy song of all time, which is My Kind of Living.
But Boots is a close second, and Boots kind of fits into the greater Hardy narrative because Hardy started off as a country songwriter.
He wrote songs for other people.
He was very prolific as a songwriter, wrote lots of hits, and then he started his solo projects to see if he could make it as an artist.
Obviously, it’s been successful, but Boots was the first one where I think he started to create his own sound and be true to the kind of music he wanted to make.
Because Boots is much more of a rock song than a country song.
He’s mentioned this at his shows and I think in interviews, that Boots was the first time he kind of experimented with more of a screaming rock voice during some of the choruses, something that he does a lot nowadays.
Boots is a great song and your classic country trope of a guy waking up and his girls left him and a little bit of self-loathing.
And he woke up with his boots on in the morning.
And I remember when that song first came out, my middle son really liked it.
At the time he was probably about two years old.
And this was his big request of his.
And there’s one morning, I went and got him from his crib.
And someone had left his sippy cup in the crib with him, which is something we don’t usually like to do.
And so he’s laying there in his bed.
And he looks up at me and he goes, I woke up with my sippy cup this morning.
He was just pitch perfect right on the little bit of self-loathing, like, I shouldn’t have this thing, but here it is.
And he’s like holding it up, like he just woke up with a beer next to his bed.
For that reason, it’s one of my favorites.
All right, so that’s it for the Hardy Report.
Today, we are joined by Art Eddy.
Art is a writer, podcaster, and the founder of the Art of Fatherhood podcast and website.
So he has interviewed more than 500 guests, may have whom are A-list fathers from the world to pop culture, sports, and business.
Art’s conversations about the fatherhood journey are always insightful, and we are so excited to have one of those conversations with him today.
Art Eddy, welcome to the show.
Thank you very much, gentlemen, for having me.
I really appreciate the invite and look forward to chat with you guys.
We are so looking forward to it.
Thank you for joining us.
As if somebody has been listening to your show for years, this is going to be awesome.
I appreciate that.
Thank you guys.
And you guys run a good show as well.
So it’s an honor to be here, man.
Awesome.
Thank you.
So why did you start the Art of Fatherhood in the beginning?
Yeah.
So kind of go a little bit back when I became a stay-at-home dad, I used to work in radio.
And when our second daughter was born, I got two daughters and we were thinking like, all right, we definitely don’t want to go the daycare route.
So how are we going to do this?
And radio is not the most stable industry, so I was like, all right, I’ll be the stay-at-home dad.
And my wife and I were like, yeah, it wasn’t that easy, but we talked about it and it looked like this was the best option.
So did that.
And after a while, I kind of started writing for fatherhood websites and parenting sites and all that.
And then around 2018, I kind of wanted to go my own way.
I felt like certain things were getting missed out on what you could talk about or just the idea of what dads bring to the table instead of the stereotypes that are out there.
Some are good, some are bad, but I wanted to kind of bring fatherhood journey to where I think it needs to be and have like start up conversation.
So 2018, I started doing the art of fatherhood solo and obviously it’s kind of like a dad joke with my name in there.
But I just wanted every, and you guys know this, talking to so many dads, there’s certain things that like I’ve experienced or certain things that you never really thought of.
You know, like, man, I should have, I wish I did that when I was a little bit younger.
So when you talk to a dad of any, are they a new dad?
Are they a dad of toddlers or tweens or teenagers or college students or are you an empty nester?
Like you learn a lot of different things.
And so you just try and make sure that everybody is included, especially the past few years.
A lot of animosity, I guess, sometimes.
I just like, you guys do the same thing, just positive, fun conversations about fatherhood.
It’s like, wow, like dads do care.
So that’s what I probably kind of do in a nutshell.
I’ll tell you what, you gave me like 10 different ways to segue into the next question there.
But I’m going to go a completely different direction.
Oh, good.
And we’re going to come back to a lot of that later.
I promise you, you’ve interviewed so many great people over the years, but let’s talk a little bit maybe about some of the country artists, guys, that you have interviewed over the years.
You know, like Clay Walker, Walker Hayes, John Driscoll Hopkins from the Zac Brown Band.
Who has been your favorite country music interview?
Almost, I would say, what’s your favorite child, right?
I think all of them are for different reasons, because I’ll say first and foremost Walker Hayes, and I’ll get into that in a second.
But any musician, whether it’s country or any type of genre of music, I love, and you guys know this too, like the creative process for starting an album or a song, or how do you like, how do they work something out, right?
It’s almost kind of parallel to how you find your voice as a dad.
And a lot, just like you guys, my podcast, your podcast and certain songs from these country artists are inspired by fatherhood, are inspired by their kids, like their kids or their wives or their muses, right?
I think especially for Zach Brown Band, like I listened to their song and a lot of the like hits and all that.
Just sitting down to him and talking about the way he looked at fatherhood and music and the way he looked at life made me respect them even more.
Like I love sports.
I love all these things.
Just kind of do an analogy.
Never really cared too much about NASCAR.
And then I was invited to a couple of NASCAR events and I saw the detail and the love and the passion everybody has.
And it’s a family event.
Like in the trailers, the race car drivers are bringing their families, if they’re age appropriate enough or it’s like they don’t have school.
It’s like, all right, they’re coming on quote unquote tour around the country and all that, which I love.
So going back to Country Music, it’s kind of the same thing.
And Walker Hayes, I interviewed him, they reached out to me and like, hey, we have an upcoming artist.
It’s got a lot of great music.
But when I interviewed him, it was right before Fancy Like, it was right before he like blew up.
And his album Black Sheep had a lot of great tracks.
They gave me the tracks to sample and listen to.
And the two tracks that I love, and it blends in with family and fatherhood and being a husband.
The first one was Chapel about one of his kids, and the other one was Don’t Let Her.
And I thought both songs were great.
Chapel is about like, if you listen to Walker Hayes and you see him, you follow him on Instagram or social media or whatever, you see he loves sports.
And his family does too for the most part.
But then there’s a few of his kids that maybe aren’t really caring about sports.
And Chapel was just talking about, hey, I see you for who you are, son.
Something breaks, you were the one that’s probably gonna fix it, not me, because you have that intellect, you’re smart that way.
And to share that and to have that keepsake, I think is amazing.
And he always made time for me.
Like, hey, what’s up?
Like, you wanna get back on, talk about, you know, winning this award or, you know, at this new album.
Like, sure.
And his people were just super kind.
Like, I’ve had people where I’ve interviewed, they’re on the come up, and sometimes it’s like, who are you?
I’m like, hey, like, do you remember me?
And I know some people get, like, you know, might have gotten sick of fancy, like, oh, it’s fancy, like, dude.
Deep down, man, he never changed one iota, in my opinion, in my experience with him.
He came into North Carolina and he gave us backstage passes and tickets, and we had awesome time.
My daughter and I, my wife and my daughter always couldn’t go, but it was me and my youngest, and we went, as soon as you saw him, I was like, hey, what’s up, buddy?
And my daughter, Jordan, was like, it’s like he kind of knows you, right?
I’m like, he knows me, but like, he’s been on the show a few times.
And so I think that my connection with him, and it started just with those two songs, Chapel and Don’t Let Her, because I was like, yep, this is a guy that I think gets it and sees not just who he is, who his family members are, and he’s going to write songs about him.
And his oldest daughter, she’s part of the dance crew, and sometimes she’ll sing.
He’s brought his other kids to sing as well.
So it’s definitely a family affair up there in the most cutest of all ways.
So I would say him just because of the many interactions I’ve had with him.
They’re really good interviews.
Thank you.
I used to write for this country website called Whiskey Riff.
And just like lots of people in the country music media, they used to dump on Walker Hayes a little bit because of how popular he got and how Fancy Light got a little overplayed and everything.
But for him, no matter how many times they would dump on him, he would still engage with Whiskey Riff.
Even if they were throwing all this shade at him, he’d kind of self-deprecating joke about himself and about the song and everything.
He always gave the Whiskey Riff folks the impression that, like, this is a good dude.
And I think that was validated by hearing you talk with him.
And a lot of really powerful moments in the interview too, where he got really vulnerable talking about some really deep stuff that he went through with his family.
Yeah.
And again, he shares in his music.
He shared it with me.
I think that’s another thing too, whether you’re talking to a guest, they’ve lost a kid or lost a spouse, needed to change their lifestyle, whether it was alcohol or drugs or whatever.
And it’s like, I need to be better for my family.
Yeah, you just you feel for that.
I don’t look to be like a TMZ, like trying to get the dirt.
I would so be click baits.
And I know you guys don’t do the same thing either, but it’s just all about, if someone’s gonna share this, I’m guessing half the people that are listening to it have either experienced that for themselves or have been in a family environment where that has happened and they’re like, they can relate and they can maybe take some solace in the fact that like other people have gone through it.
Cause I think once you feel like you’re not alone, makes things not a lot better, but it makes things a little bit better in seeing how someone else got through it.
So many of our colleagues in the social media dad world, for lack of a better way to phrase it, just constantly look at that the same way you articulated there.
We’re just about letting other people know that you’re not alone.
Because dads have such issues with thinking that they’re alone and that they’re the only ones going through this.
And that’s why so many of us that try to put a message out in this space, you’re heard, you’re not alone.
We can be there for you.
And the fact that you, with your show, are able to get those big names saying it, and I shouldn’t have used the air quotes, because you do big names.
They call you the art father for a reason.
You know, I mean, you are the holy grail of the dad world interviews, and there’s a reason for it, because you get these guys to talk about what every other dad is going through.
I mean.
Thank you.
Now my head is so big, I probably can’t get through the door.
No, I appreciate it.
I definitely do.
It’s just, you guys know, putting a show together is hard work, and it’s just the idea of, you just gotta keep on going.
Yeah, we want the downloads, but you also wanna do it for the same purpose, I believe, that you guys do.
It’s like, man, we wanna be there for each other, and you’re just doing it so people can listen to it and feel like they’re part of that conversation, like, yeah, I experienced what these guys experienced, or I never would have known that I could parent this way or reach out for help.
So yeah, it’s just the idea of building, I think we all thrown around in groups, chats, where it’s like, fatherhood is the new brotherhood, right?
Yeah, cause then you get right down to it.
The resources out there, especially for the little niche that we all have shared in the at-home dad world, the resources out there are just not, are not great.
When I started this 18 years ago, they were non-existent.
I mean, there’s so much mom content out there that the dad has forgotten about.
You get defeated, right?
Like, there are certain times, like, this has nothing to do with, like, booking a guest.
I was actually trying to book a sponsor, and it was for, like, this healthier soda, whatever.
And, you know, I reached out to this person, I think he’ll be a great fit.
He was like, oh, cool, I don’t have a big budget this year, but let’s just take a look.
And I sent him my media kit.
He’s like, nope, if you’re a mom, sure, but dads, no one cares about dads.
I was in the email, and this is coming from a guy, and I’m like, I hope this dude’s not a dad, and he wasn’t.
He was like, I’m just a dog dad.
I’m like, yeah, that dude doesn’t get it.
Like, he doesn’t understand the importance of dads.
You know, with the help of you and some of our other mutual friends out there, we’ll get there.
Yeah.
We’ll get there.
I might be a granddad by then, but we’ll get there.
That’s awesome.
One of our recurring segments that we like to do, we call it the Dad Life Sound Check, where each of us share a song, preferably a country song, that is kind of speaking to us at the moment, for whatever reason.
Do you have a song that you want to share with us?
Yeah.
I know it’s kind of like a pop song right now, but it’s still country.
It’s Shaboozey.
The reason why, and it’s not about getting tipsy or anything along those lines, it’s just the first few lines in that song get me right now.
Not that my wife wants a Birkin, not any of that, but it’s just the idea of like, my oldest has started driving, so we put on her insurance.
Okay, here’s a tip for you dads out there and parents out there.
Make sure you price shop and you get ready, because when you try and ask your insurance company how much it is going to be more when your daughter or son, as a teenage driver gets on your insurance, sit down, make sure you’re sitting down for that.
There was just so many things about bills and all this other stuff.
Now we got two kids in high school getting ready for college, all of these things.
Besides Art of Fatherhood, this fall, I started teaching at UNC, University of North Carolina for people who may be not know.
I’m teaching a class on digital storytelling, and it was because of three things, my podcast, Antoine Jamieson, and Star Wars.
Those three ingredients got me into the job I’ve never toppled for.
It’s going pretty well in like five, six weeks right now as we’re recording this into it.
It’s great because it’s also teaching me a little bit on college life right now for kids and stuff.
But it’s just the idea going back to that song, like there’s so many things going on.
How do I balance all this stuff?
Those first few lines, I feel it in my bones.
I have my hair that I’m like, yeah.
I think one song that always get me even though she’s more pop now was Taylor Swift’s Never Grow Up.
That song is always in my mind because time is moving so darn fast with my kids.
So evergreen song, it’s always like living rent free is Never Grow Up.
Then right now, just with all these things I’m trying to do and accomplish, and as both kids are in high school and things are happening, teaching my oldest how to drive and being an Uber dad for different sporting or musical events and all the stuff my kids are into.
So it’s just like fill his lines.
I’m like from Shaboozey.
I’m like, that’s me in a nutshell.
Hopefully, that song will work.
It all works because that’s the beautiful thing about music.
It works for you.
Yeah.
That’s how I was getting a lot of play on our car these days because my four-year-old asked for it, which is kind of funny to hear your four-year-old say like, can you play Tipsy?
Do you know what this song is about?
He loves it though.
So yeah.
Song of the Summer right there.
No doubt.
Then Mick, what do you listen to?
All right.
So this is going to fall into the category of another guy who you just cannot not hear when you turn on the radio.
I’m going to bring in the big man and I’m not talking God, I’m talking Jelly Roll, I’m Not Okay, is the song I want to talk about.
And I can just hear people’s rolling their eyes saying, what the heck, how has this got any type of a parenting connotation to it?
Because it’s kind of a dark song.
But if you go down to the bridge, where he wraps it up and he just talks about, one day you’re going to see the other side, things are going to go away.
Relate that to how many conversations have we had with our kids over the years when you basically say, it sucks right now, it hurts right now, something’s not going on right now, but it’s going to be all right.
It’s gonna change.
And for that reason, whenever this song comes on my stream or comes on the radio, I just kind of stop and I listen to all the dark throughout the songs.
But then I tell myself, because I’ve heard it enough times, I’m like, all right, the bridge is coming.
We’re gonna take the bridge, literally and figuratively, we’re gonna walk over to the other side and it’s gonna be okay.
The way you phrase it too, it’s not like you’re like, I’ll rub some dirt on it fine.
I know you’re going through some stuff right now to your kids.
I’ve been there before.
Me saying that’s not really helping, but I know that it’s not right for you right now.
Things will get better, but just the idea that you understand where they’re from.
Sometimes people said, I’m 45, my generation.
Our parents are like, don’t worry, if they’re more your friends to begin with, then they should have never been your friends.
Cool.
Sure.
The way you approach it, I think is really cool in showing that you care and saying that you’re there for them.
How do we get through this together?
That’s the thought.
The Power of Jelly Roll right there.
It’s a really simple song, but he’s tapped into something that everyone can relate to with everything he’s putting out.
But you just hear something from him that is like, man, that hits home.
Mick and I were talking before he came on.
I listened to that song for the first time because Mick mentioned he was going to talk about it today.
I was like, that’s my week right now, actually.
I’m trying to share that with my kids.
They’re like, hey, man, I’m a little grumpy this week, okay?
But I know that from experience, it’s not going to last.
I’m going to get through it.
So it’s okay if you’re grumpy sometimes too.
Just remember that.
Then even my six-year-old will give me the eye roll and not listen.
So maybe he’ll listen to Jelly Roll.
He won’t listen to me.
My song, I’m going to keep it dark actually.
This is the spooky season coming up.
The song for me is Ghost In This House by Alison Krauss, which is one of the sadder songs that I can think of.
As Mick knows and our listeners know, I love a good sad country song.
So Ghost In This House is this crushingly sad song about maybe a lost love or some kind of a loss in this house.
So this person is floating through the house and thinking through old memories.
But on a lighter note, the reason I think about this is that I think I’m notorious at school pickup because my one-year-old still likes the baby carrier.
So when I go and pick up his two older brothers, he’s usually riding on my chest and it looks ridiculous because, first of all, dad’s wearing their babies, get more attention than mom’s wearing their babies.
Then he’s just a very smiley baby.
So I get lots of waves and more than half the time, adults come up to me and they address the baby on my chest, and they do not acknowledge me at all.
So I’m getting kissy faces from grown men, and then they just walk by.
I’m not even there.
It’s just bizarre.
So there’s been plenty of times where I’m like, do I even exist, or am I just the vehicle for this cute baby as we walk through Costco?
My head is like right above his, so I’m like, I feel like they’re talking to me, but they’re not making any sense, and then they just walk by.
There’s just certain things where maybe people take you for granted, and you’re just like, what happens if I didn’t do this today, or I wasn’t making this meal, or whatever?
Who’s going to make it?
People say, all goodbye, but it’s just that, my wife and I were away with a couple this past weekend, and my youngest calls me up, and she’s like, man, there’s so much you do in a day, Dad.
I was like, cool.
I appreciate you acknowledging that.
That would make my day right there.
That’s awesome.
Especially when the kids notice.
I get it from Kelly when I’m gone, but when the kids notice, that lets you know that, okay, you’re doing something right.
You know, we talked on the show numerous times about does the song we hear influence how we parent or do we parent based on something that we heard in the song?
What do you find yourself taking from your show or the other way around?
What do you see at home that you incorporate into the show when you’re talking to your guests?
Yeah, great question.
So the first one word I take from my guests are one is patience.
I think every parent needs to work on that in some matter of speaking.
So for me, it’s always like, all right, how can I be a little bit more patient?
How can I do things their way and not need it on my timetable, right?
Let’s see how I can manage expectations for my expectations versus my family’s expectations or whatever.
So I think when they say patience is one thing, and communication, I went to UNH, University of New Hampshire for a degree in communications.
If you’ve got a degree in that, doesn’t mean you’re going to excel in that every day.
But I think communication is something that we all need to strive to be better at.
What I learned from my family is, we were talking earlier about stereotypes and dads.
Sometimes they’re seen as the second parent or even the grandmas or even before the dad.
The stereotypes in any type of household, oh, you’ve got two daughters, oh, just wait till they become teenagers.
They’re teenagers now.
Is everything sunshine and rainbows?
No.
But for the most part, the four of us that are in this household, the four humans, I should say, not to neglect my cats, but like the four humans, we all get along.
We all understand that everyone looks at things differently.
If you go into that idea of like, raising daughters when they’re teenagers, good luck.
If you buy into that, you’re doing a disservice, not only to your daughters, but yourself and your family.
One of the things I always mention on the Our Fatherhood, don’t fall into any of the stereotypes, whether they’re positive or negative.
Just be honest in what works for your family.
But if you just be like, oh God, that Dutch’s teenager, we see that all the time.
The incredible is like, is she going through adolescence?
Yeah, she is.
But there’s different ways you can handle it and talk, and maybe let them vent or let them just have time to themselves.
When they come back, it’s like, hey, let’s talk.
How can I be a better advocate for you or something?
So patience and just the idea of communication is one thing, but then on the flip side, in our household that I try and project in my podcast and just life as well, is just don’t fall into the stereotypes.
You don’t feel good or bad.
Yeah, I definitely feel that as I have three boys, and so you hear that about boys.
They’re crazy, they’re aggressive.
Going back to your Walker-Hays interview, what I’ve admitted to Mick and admitted to myself, I think I’m a big sports dad.
I love sports also.
I say out loud that I want my boys to do what they want to do even if it’s not sports.
But that’s going to be difficult, I think.
Hearing him talk about going through that with one of his sons who wasn’t into sports, it’s a constant reminder to me that those stereotypes are going to be there, and the pressures to like you got to be like one of the boys, and boys play sports is always going to be kind of hanging over, and based on my upbringing too, because I happen to be a boy that likes sports, it is something that takes some practice to get used to, so it’s good to hear you talk about it too.
Yeah, and just for you to be like you said, you sit in your house and you’re like, how can I be there for him?
So yeah, it’s great, man.
I always think of people, it’s like, how do I be a good dad?
If you’re thinking about how you’re trying to be a good dad, that’s hit the first or second or five steps into that journey, right?
You talk about how to be a good dad and everyone answers that question differently because those situation is the same.
But what’s the most profound piece of parenting bias that you’ve either received or just heard maybe in conversation?
That’s a great question too because you’re like, all right, what are certain things that, yes, sometimes people say like, I know this answer is cliche, but and they rattle off something.
That’s not a bad answer.
It’s just they’re feeling what fatherhood is about to them.
One of the things recently, Nate Randall, he’s the CEO of GAB Wireless.
I was doing something with them.
They were sponsoring my show and I had them on and we were talking about things.
One of the things he said recently, I think this is huge.
No matter what your family is going through, if your kids are still in diapers, you’re not doing too much activities, your kids aren’t asking to do this or that, and your spouse might be in a calmer stage of their lives or whatever.
But he said every Sunday, he goes around because sometimes his time is limited.
He doesn’t like saying the word balancing work and family or life and family or life and work.
He said every Sunday, he goes around and talks to the kids and his wife.
Hey, he uses another example.
He goes up to one of his kids like, hey, I know you’ve got cheerleading practice, but you also have a dance recital or a dance practice or a dance competition.
Which one do you want me to make sure I’m there?
There’s no excuses.
I’m there.
You want me to be present.
Sometimes it’s things that his kids or his wife will say like his wife like, hey, I have this event in the afternoon, but I have to pick up the kids.
Can you possibly make sure you don’t have any meetings when you pick up the kids?
He’s like, sure.
You can do something out of your own heart and kindness thinking you’re going to help some, but it’s not what they needed, right?
And sometimes that could even anger things even more because maybe you weren’t listening to someone what they needed at that moment for that week or that time in their lives.
The way he did it is like, how can I help you?
How do you want me to be there this week for you?
I thought that was powerful.
Just in the sense of like, we can think we know what our family wants and we can guess and all that other stuff.
We can assume.
You know what happens when you assume, right?
Just the idea of him walking around making it a routine.
And sometimes if people hear the word team and roll their eyes, I think there’s a good part where, whether it’s every year you go to this one place for vacation, whether it’s big, small, whatever, your kids and your family will always make memories.
So then he was saying, yeah, my family, for some reason, if Sunday we’re busy and I don’t go around like, hey, dad, weren’t you going to ask me what I needed this week?
So just the idea of him going around and like, where do you want me to show up the most?
And that will be there and I will be there.
I’ll try and make the other things.
Can’t guarantee that.
But for this one, maybe one or two things, I will be there.
I thought that was very powerful.
And I’ve used that in real life.
And I’ve talked about that in my podcast since.
So I just think that was just really moving of being like, huh, because you don’t look no, because like, oh, you want me at your volleyball game.
No, I actually wanted you to help me study for my quiz because the way you help me out is a lot better than just doing it myself or doing like, you know, something on the internet.
I’m like, cool.
So it’s just those things where it’s like, how can I help?
What do you need?
Where do you need me to show up the most this week?
So I actually didn’t realize that you were an at-home dad.
Back when your kids were first born, you kind of made these shifts throughout your fatherhood journey.
What do you think has been the biggest change for you personally since becoming a father?
I would say the biggest thing is being the youngest.
My wife and I were like, we came from a household that had three siblings.
We were both the youngest and we always felt like the youngest would just be like smiling way boys, right?
Kind of tagged along with everything.
So I felt like you were kind of like the peacemaker, just making sure you’re doing whatever to make the family happy.
So I felt like my wife and I would always be there to help people out.
But since I became a dad and since I became a stay at home dad, I saw the different things that my wife would maybe, it’s like the mere opposite.
What dads go through, being the stay at home dad, and you might get these weird mugs like, oh, why isn’t he at work?
Is he just can’t find a job?
Or then there’s like, oh, isn’t you so sweet?
You’re giving your wife a break.
And it’s like, no, that’s not the case.
All day, every day, man.
All day, every day.
Yeah, exactly.
But sometimes she’s like, I don’t want to fight this battle today.
I’m like, yep, I’m helping out.
She’s at the spa.
There you go.
I’m doing my best.
But again, another smiling way, boys, like, all right, cool.
Yep, that’s what you think I’m doing.
That’s fine.
But just the idea of my wife or just other women that I’ve talked about who had a career after having children, it’s like, don’t you want to raise your kids?
Yeah, I’m showing that I can do anything that I want to do and have a spouse that’s supportive and staying home at home.
So I think that was one of the main things that as my kids got older, they saw that women don’t have to just be bound and make them a sandwich or stay home or do whatever.
It’s like, you can do whatever.
And whatever works for you, like, I don’t want to be preaching, this is what has to be done.
No, you and your family need to do what’s best for you.
Stop, you know, it used to be like keeping up with the Joneses.
Now it’s like trying to keep up with the Instagram people.
So it’s like, don’t do what everybody else is doing.
Do what works for you and show your family that, like, we’re making it our own way and that’s the best way because we’re not hurting anybody else on the outside.
We’re not hurting anybody on the inside, but we’re just doing what works for us.
So once I became a stay-at-home dad, once I got a routine, and also, like, for new dads, like, if you’re being a stay-at-home dad or even not even a stay-at-home dad, but you’re taking care of the kids, it’s going to take a while for you to get a routine and feel comfortable in how you do things with your kids, no matter what age you are, but you just got to put in the effort.
So I think for me, once I became a stay-at-home dad and saw the different things out there and what was like the writings on the wall versus like, all right, I want to make my own wall and write my own dissertation on how I can be a good dad.
That’s the beauty of doing what you do and what Dave and I are trying to do as well.
You get a chance to see how everything just comes together, and you get a chance to verbalize it, either verbalizing it to you and your family, or verbalizing it to other people to share it.
That is why the dad world needs people like you out there, because they don’t know how powerful a message to young girls, my girl, to youngest are girls.
And that is what we’ve just tried to do for them, so often show them how powerful it is that mom is the one that provides.
It doesn’t have to be the dad that just provides.
As the dad, I provide other things.
I provide the logistics.
I provide all the other stuff that is made possible by their mom.
And it doesn’t matter who makes the money, because life’s not just about money.
Does money help sometimes?
Life happen?
Absolutely.
But where is it written that the man has to make the money?
You know, and we as stay-at-home dads, I think, provide such a positive message to, you know, our daughters by doing that, that it’s just, it’s always good to hear that other men out there see the benefit of that.
Oh, you got anything else, Mick?
We got a couple of questions for you.
We got a lightning round.
Okay.
Which George?
Jones or Strait?
Strait.
All right.
All right.
You and Mick are in alignment.
These are very Country Music style lightning round questions.
As they should be.
Do you have a musical guilty pleasure?
Something that you listen to when nobody else is around?
Country music or not?
I’ll sing Spice Girls.
Yeah.
For some reason, it was way before Deadpool.
Maybe it was those 90 CDs.
It’s like Pure Moods, but I would be singing the weird and the wrong lyrics to Enya, and I still do it today.
My kids, I didn’t watch Deadpool with them especially the first one because they were like, no, I’m not watching this certain scenes with you.
But they’re like, did you do that because of Deadpool?
I’m like, no, this was way before Deadpool.
You’d hear that on those pure mood CDs, and that’s an earworm that will live constantly in my head.
I don’t know how you can.
I have tried to learn the proper lyrics to some Enya songs.
I don’t know how you-
But you can’t.
You can’t.
You’re rough.
It’s like the song, it’s like, who can say where your body glows?
That’s it, right?
No, it’s not it.
No, I think we’ve all been there with her.
Except for maybe Dave.
Last question.
Last question.
If you could have a beer, cocktail, drink of choice in a honky tonk with Dead or Alive, anybody of your choice, who would it be?
Country music wise?
Preferably, yeah.
That’s why I said honky tonk.
I’d love to see you meet with the Spice Girls at a honky tonk.
That’s your answer.
That’s fine.
Could you see Posh Spice at a honky tonk?
That’s awesome.
I interviewed Jerry Hallwell, who’s Ginger Spice, awesome woman.
Very cool.
Even before we did the interview, she was like, I want to get to learn a little bit more about you.
I was like, what?
This was amazing.
She was just totally awesome.
She was there for me.
So I’ll say I’ll be there for her too.
If anybody got that joke, probably not.
You know what, though?
This is not really honky tonk per se, but I’d love to chat with Willie Nelson.
For him, the stories, I don’t do any weed.
I don’t smoke weed.
I don’t do any of that.
It’s not because of that.
I love to hear his story.
I just would love to sit down, maybe have a nice whiskey with him and just talk about how the evolution of music and his career and how he looked at fame, music, and what became important to him at different stages in life.
There’s always that same story.
It’s like once you reach the top, is it what you wanted?
But I think Willie Nelson, I hope that one works, but I think Willie Nelson would be a great just time to chill with and learn and vibe with.
Oh yeah, absolutely.
Great answer.
I would listen to Willie talk about anything, I think.
It doesn’t matter.
He’d go many directions I think in that conversation.
All right.
Art, thank you.
This has been one of our best interviews.
I know this is a short-lived show so far.
We’re growing, we’re building, but we went so many different directions and they were all great, but they all tied together with what we’re all trying to accomplish in this space.
So thank you very much for your time.
A lot of our listeners probably know where you are, but more of our music-based listeners probably don’t know where you are.
So share your bona fides.
Yeah, thank you.
Again, you guys run an awesome show.
I think it’s different.
You guys know this as well as I do.
You got to kind of be a little bit different, separate yourself from the genre that you’re talking about and what you guys do and how you mix it very well.
Speaking of whiskey, it’s a well-balanced cocktail, fatherhood, country music, and just fun.
So it was an honor to be here with you guys.
I appreciate it.
artoffatherhood.net, that’s where you’re going to be finding me and all the different sites or social media handles and all that good stuff.
artoffatherhood.net, if you just Google Artoffatherhood podcast, you’ll find me.
I’d appreciate any support like you guys always support.
Again, fatherhood is a new brotherhood because you guys are always supporting people like myself, so I appreciate it.
We’ll link all that stuff in the show notes and check out theartoffatherhood.net and give Artoffollow.
It’s well worth it and I’m sure there’s somebody that he has interviewed that would interest any of our listeners.
He interviews everyone across the spectrum of humanity, it seems.
Awesome talking with the art.
Thank you guys.
All right, everybody.
As always, thank you for listening.
Go to countrymusictads.com, catch up on all the back episodes.
Facebook, Instagram, got a presence there.
Instagram’s got the funny memes.
At least we think they’re funny.
I don’t know.
If you don’t like it, send us the email, crunchymusicdads at Gmail with some feedback.
As always, we appreciate y’all and thanks for listening.
Art has a passion for fatherwood.
Art has a fatherwood.
Sorry, never heard that one.
The amateur hour, or, well, the shoe fits, man.